Validate Me Please!

This post started with a brief prayer that I said to myself before collecting my thoughts.

“God, I want to say thank you for my life health and strength! I know I’m not perfect anyway but please continue to strengthen me in every area I am weak.”

After I finished that last word, I felt in my heart that I don’t need to search for validation in anything or anyone. I’ve learned that being validated by people will give you stress, anxiety, causes you to start people-pleasing, and keeps you confused. The need for validation came when I was about fourteen years old. During that time, I used to feel bad about my weight and size based on other people’s opinions of weight or the perception of what weight and size should look like. Even though I looked like an average fourteen-year-old. But friends and family members would tell me that I was supposed to be 150lbs according to my BMI/height.

But, my genetics and genes didn’t depict my actual weight. I wish people would find out the real reason behind things before assuming the worse. Honestly, going through that experience caused me to feel unworthy. All throughout my life, people thought that size and weight came from not liking your self. But that wasn't the case for me! I loved my self but what people projected on to me made question if I was really beautiful like my mom told me I was. I hate to say this but adults shouted their insecurities on me by comparing their struggles in childhood to mine. I always had older ladies that were so bitter and mean about life tell me how I won't make it as they did.

Honestly, I thank God for my mom because she believed in me despite what people said. I used to think," What am I doing wrong?" My mom eventually told me you're not doing anything wrong! She said people project their feelings on to people that have goals, dreams, and accomplishments that they didn't fulfill when they were my age. Also, she stated that people will start being jealous of you for no reason at all. Humbly, I didn't believe people were like that or felt that way!

I feel like my shyness made me an easy target for people I felt like. Until I found myself enjoying going to art galleries, hearing live music, learning new beauty hacks, and pursuing my teaching career. That's when I found out that I'm very knowledgeable in various areas and I'm a diamond in rough. Finally, I found my voice and purpose in life now. Now, I realized that over time that people's opinions don't matter. As long as I am happy with me! Nothing else matters! Honestly, I never thought that now at twenty-eight I would feel the sexiest I've ever been. In order to get free from looking or searching for validation from people is being real with yourself!